Agua Bendita means holy water. Yes, it's holy-water-brand holy water.
Whole Foods has aisles devoted to water, but there’s one brand they don’t carry: Agua Bendita. It’s bottled holy water, and oh, blessings be cheap.
At $2.79 per 8 fluid ounces, you don’t have to save up too many quarters to enjoy holy water. All I know according to the label is that I can’t drink it, but I can pray with it so that I can increase my “faith and grace against disease and enemies.”
Holy water is surprisingly easy to find. I was checking out some scissors in Ridgewood’s EZ Cosmetic when some shiny labels caught my eye next to a smushed box of green tea weight-loss pills that seemed out of date. Next to the diet pills, there shone the clearness of holy water, in bottled form.
So I bought it.
Then came Google. Thanks to the G, I found Agua Bendita’s distributor, Crusellas & Co., an ex-Cuban company now located in Miami that sells cologne, hair tonic, and holy water.
I have a business proposition for Crusellas and Co. The label should include the identity of the religious figure who has blessed the water. Holy water is only holy as long as some type of religious figure has “blessed” it. They don’t have to be Catholic; they just need to know how to bless. Priest, monk, shaman, or wizard—customers like myself deserve to know.
Now that I own it, what am I going to do with holy water?
Ward off evil.
Sprinkle it in the kitty litter bin.
Water my plants with it.
Pray that I’m not offending too many gods with this email.
For now, it’s in the pantry by the sugar and tea.
Answers to questions about holy water you were afraid to ask: