Wine glasses don't need to be green, but sometimes they are.
Stalling before the Super Bowl is a skill of mine. Yesterday, while trying not to attend any Super Bowl parties, I spent too much time in Shoppers World. This world is made for children (on the first floor) and housewares (on the second floor). Parents are not allowed to be selfish, as they can only make purchases for their children—or with the goal of domestic betterment in mind. On one of the shelves, a Precious Moments-knockoff sheds a single tear for the courage of these kind-hearted souls. (The Precious Moments Chapel in Carthage, MO looks forward to their visit.)
I, on the other hand, needed wine glasses. The green ones were on sale. Wine should be simple: Wine goes into a glass and then into my mouth. I'd prefer clear wine glasses, but green I can handle. Except when the glass is radioactive.
Shoppers World does not carry radioactive glass. That's from the last century (and previous centuries), before people started caring about invisible forces that can kill.
For radioactive drinking vessels, look no further than Depression glass. Traces of uranium were sometimes mixed with the glass, giving it a yellow or green tint. These shades ranged from clover leaf to avocado. Pretty much all glass made prior to the Cold War will contain uranium (Depression-era glass is special, though; it was the first time colorful glassware became popular throughout the States.)
Radioactive Glass Pros
It glows in the dark!
You can scare children by telling them they just drank out of a radioactive cup!
Your glass could get you featured on Antiques Roadshow.
Radioactive Glass Cons
The EPA warns against drinking from uranium glass.
Hard to find.
It might kill you. Nobody really knows for sure.
When I was leaving Shoppers World, the cashier gave me a jumbo-size Valentine's Day card. In Spanish. For free. Now it's hanging above my oven because it's about as wide as my oven—which means it fits perfectly in that spot.
Ordinary Objects is an informative newsletter about things. Specifically, it's about one object Corinna Kirsch bought this week. Thanks for reading.