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BON Newsletter February 2017
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What's Happening Inside the BONewsletter!
Message from the Chair
BON Membership Renewal
BON Conference 2017
The John D. Morgan Memorial Conference Scholarship
How Social Isolation is Killing Us
The Hardest Part
Regional Report
Resources to Share
Upcoming Events
Note from the Editor
About BON

Message from the Chair

Hello BON members,


Let me start by extending Positive Regards and All the Best for you and yours in 2017.

Life is ever so busy for all of us and the BON Board is no exception. There has been lots percolating within BON, the initiatives are all directed towards the goal of providing greater satisfaction and benefits to all BON members. One being continued improvement to the website promoting a user friendly milieu. Another, thanks to our in-house techies Monica and Maureen, is our presence on social media allowing us to reach a variety of demographics. The 2017 Conference planning is well underway with Maureen Pollard at the helm and this year we are incorporating some new avenues of technology. Maureen will keep you posted with e-mail blasts and via social media.

Technology has changed our homes and workplaces and now it is changing BON all for the better! Having said that we still need our Members, which are a most valuable asset, to spread the word about BON and to be actively engaged promoting membership, local BON events and attendance at the annual conference.

When I initially sat down to compose a message from me, the Chair, to the membership it was four pages and starting into the fifth page I stopped and realized that a philosophical dissertation on the field of death, dying and bereavement in the BON newsletter was not the time or place. Lucky for all of you! What I did recognize was my continued passion for the area which is the mutual bond we as BON members share. The great news is that we are at the precipice of the era in which are passion is coming into its own and being recognized for its importance in living life to its fullest.  

BON is working towards spearheading this era with much hard work, determination and tenacity by the board and the support of the membership. We need to work together so as to grow stronger and be a network that is a respected and valued as a “Must be part of” and a “Go to Resource”.

There have been inquiries from British Columbia and the USA regarding forming alliances and participating in our annual conference, the word is spreading. Our hope is to increase or visibility and presence in Ontario along with other welcoming other related partnerships.

The BON board is open to constructive feedback and suggestions along with being a BON Ambassador within your community and workplaces to make BON Great!

Looking forward to hearing from you the membership regarding your role and input in building a BON to serve the membership and communities well.

Be Well,
Susan McCoy, BON Chair

Membership Renewal

Take time to renew your BON membership. 


Our 2017 membership drive is well under way!  Thank you to everyone who has already submitted their 2017 membership.  You will have noticed that we are asking for more information this year as we work towards a better website directory.  We ask that if you haven’t already included the check list of services offered that you fill it in and forward it to the office at info@bereavementontarionetwork.ca
 
Secondly, we are asking that if you have letters of certification/degrees/etc. that you use the space for description of services to clarify what they stand for.  There are many programs and areas of specialty out there and we would like to ensure that when the public is looking at your listing, they are clear on what you offer. We are excited that we have such a diverse membership and this will be a great way to highlight that!
 
As always, we appreciate all that you do!
 
Sincerely,
Kelly Wrigglesworth, BON AA

Please click here for your membership form.

27th Annual Fall BON Conference 2017


Mark Your Calendars for Thursday, October 12, 2017 to Saturday, October 16, 2017.


The Conference Committee is working hard on the upcoming conference. The full-day pre-conference speaker and conference plenary speakers will be announced in February 2017. For updates and additional information, please check here.  


Call for Presentations and Posters

The conference committee is seeking presentation proposals with an experiential component, cultural relevance or unique program reviews with practical tips and suggestions for implementation by workshop participants are especially welcome.

Call for Presentations: Deadline March 31, 2017
Call for Posters: Deadline September 15, 2017

The John D. Morgan Memorial Conference Scholarship

The John D. Morgan Memorial Conference Scholarship is open to anyone who is enrolled in a course or program in grief and bereavement or a related field (full time or part time). The recipient will attend the conference at no cost and receive a one-year membership in BON.

Click here for more information.

How Social Isolation is Killing Us

by Dhruv Khullar, M.D., M.P.P.


My patient and I both knew he was dying.

Not the long kind of dying that stretches on for months or years. He would die today. Maybe tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, the next day. Was there someone I should call? Someone he wanted to see?

Not a one, he told me. No immediate family. No close friends. He had a niece down South, maybe, but they hadn’t spoken in years.

For me, the sadness of his death was surpassed only by the sadness of his solitude. I wondered whether his isolation was a driving force of his premature death, not just an unhappy circumstance.

Every day I see variations at both the beginning and end of life: a young man abandoned by friends as he struggles with opioid addiction; an older woman getting by on tea and toast, living in filth, no longer able to clean her cluttered apartment. In these moments, it seems the only thing worse than suffering a serious illness is suffering it alone.

I just read another NYT article that said that the older you get the harder it is to find a real good friend because most of that activity...
 
Social isolation is a growing epidemic — one that’s increasingly recognized as having dire physical, mental and emotional consequences. Since the 1980s, the percentage of American adults who say they’re lonely has doubled from 20 percent to 40 percent.

For full article, click here.

Dhruv Khullar, M.D., M.P.P., is a resident physician at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School.
The Upshot provides news, analysis and graphics about politics, policy and everyday life. A version of this article appears in print on December 22, 2016, on Page A3 of the New York edition with the headline: Loneliness Is a Health Hazard, but There Are Remedies. The online link is
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/22/upshot/how-social-isolation-is-killing-us.html?_r=2

The Hardest Part

by Barbara J. Saunders
from “Healing a Heart’s Loss”   (St. Thomas, ON)


The hardest part of not having you here is when I see someone who reminds me of you.  When I want to ask you something and you are not here.  Your gentle touch and a hug letting me know it will all be okay.

I know each of you have your own statements to add to “The Hardest Part”.  Hmmm, this could be a heavy article as I remember things people have said to me over the years.  The numbers of times I went to the phone to call you and actually did before I remembered you are no longer here.

The hardest part is when I see other people with their special person and I am not with mine.  Missing the sound of your voice, the laughter and tears; trying desperately to not forget any of you as I realize time passes on and days become years.

The hardest part is coming to the realization that others do not experience this loss as deeply as I do.  I wonder, have they moved on and gotten busy with their lives.  Is this something I need to do?  Is being busy the way to be?  I don’t know if this is for me.

The questions I ask myself; will I ever get better from this loss, will this always be the hardest part?  Thousands of people experience loss every day and they seem to get better.  Is this the hardest part?  Is getting better the best way to go? 

Indecision, I do not know what is right for me at this time.  I do not want to ever forget you.  I want the pain in my heart to ease and I wish you could help me, please.  Is reaching out to others the hardest part?  Oh woe is me.  Perhaps the hardest part is yet to be. 

Regional Reports

BON Regional Representatives keep you connected with the bereavement news and events happening within your region. Click here to read about what is happening in your community and regions across Ontario. Upcoming Events and details can be found here.


Click for listing and contact information of our Regional Representatives and their regions.

 

Check out the updated BON Regions & Regional Representative List

Resources to Share

  • Grampa's Butterfly - Lilly and her Grampa love to spend time together.  Grampa shares the story of the butterfly with her and encourages her to take a caterpillar home to watch it emerge from it's cocoon. Unfortunately, while Lilly is waiting for her butterfly, Grampa becomes ill.  IT is through this journey that Lilly learns the true meaning of the butterfly story. The author Margaret-Ann Brix also includes a colouring page to be used alongside this book.
  • Collateral Beauty stars Will Smith, as a man who is retreating from life after the death of his six year old daughter. "Love, time, death - these three things connect every single being on earth."  He questions the universe by writing letters to Love, Time and Death. As his friends and colleagues at work question this withdrawal, by unexpected encounters, all of them begin to see how love, time and death interweave into their lives. 

We bereaved are not alone.   We belong to the largest company in all the world -- the company of those who know suffering.

by Helen Keller
 

Ongoing and Upcoming Events


Ongoing Events

“Caring Circle”
Date: Third Thursday of every month
Time: 10am-11:30am
Location: Sakura House in Woodstock
Host/Contact: annemarie.wallace-phillips@von.ca OR 519-539-8515 Ext.3
Details:   Group bereavement support provided by trained, caring and understanding volunteers at no cost
 
“Caring Circle”
Date: Third Saturday of every month
Time: 10am-11:30am
Location: VON Oxford 550 Ingersoll Ave Woodstock(rear entrance , up the ramp)
Host/Contact: annemarie.wallace-phillips@von.ca OR 519-539-8515 Ext.3
Details:  Group bereavement support provided by trained, caring and understanding volunteers at no cost
 
“Caring Circle”
Date: Second Wednesday of every month
Time:6:30pm-8pm
Location:24 Brock St W Tillsonburg Ont(rear entrance)
Host/Contact: annemarie.wallace-phillips@von.ca OR 519-539-8515 Ext.3
Details:  Group bereavement support provided by trained, caring and understanding volunteers at no cost
 
Kid’s Circle
Date: Several times throughout the year contact program coordinator for specific dates
Time: 6pm-7:30pm
Location: Sakura House in Woodstock
Host/Contact: annemarie.wallace-phillips@von.ca OR 519-539-8515 Ext.3
Details:  An eight week program providing supportive care for grieving children ages 4-11 who have experienced the death of a loved one. Family member and caregivers are invited to attend an eight week program entitled “When Families Grieve” run in tandem with VON Kid’s Circle.

Meditation
Date:  Mon, January 16, 2017 (Recurs Weekly)
Time: 1:00pm 
Details: Every Monday phone for registration as it fills up fast!
Contact: Serenity House 519-637-3034   info@serenityhousehospice.ca  

Meditation
Date: February 3, 2017 - ongoing
Time: 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Location: Ahimsa Yoga Studio, 100 Dundas Street W, 3rd floor, Whitby
Cost: Donation
Host: Veronica Lowe
Details: Register at http://www.ahimsayoga.com/locations/whitby

Reflexology
Date:  Mon, January 16, 2017 (Recurs Weekly)
Location: Serenity House Hospice, St. Thomas, ON
Details:   Phone for appointments
Contact: Serenity House 519-637-3034   info@serenityhousehospice.ca  

 

VON Elgin Weekly Walking Group     
Date : ongoing
Time: Tuesday mornings and Thursday evenings
Location: Pinafore Park in St Thomas, ON
Contact: Becky Ahrens at 519-637-6408 or 1-800-201-0909   becky.ahrens@von.ca


Events By Date

Bereaved Families of Ontario, Durham Region
Date: January 2017
Date: February 2017
Date: March 2017
Contact: Jane: 1-905-579-4293

Drop-in mixed Loss Group
Date: Jan 12- March 23, 2017
Time: 10:30-12:30
Location: Durham VON Hospice, 1650 Dundas Street E. #201
Host/Contact: Lynn Hill, #905-240-5422 x 225
Website: http://durhamhospice.org
Details: Open to anyone who is bereaved

Spousal Loss Group (closed)
Date: Jan 23- April 3, 2017
Time: 7-9
Location: Durham VON Hospice, 1650 Dundas Street E. #201
Host/Contact: Lynn Hill, #905-240-5422 x 225
Website: http://durhamhospice.org
Details:  This is a closed spousal loss support group so register ahead of time

NEW Breast Cancer Support Group
Date:   Thursday, January 26, 2017 (Recurs Monthly) 
Time:   7 - 8:30 pm
Location: Serenity House Hospice, St. Thomas, ON
Details:  An open monthly group session for meeting other survivors, hear guest speakers.
Contact: Serenity House 519-637-3034   info@serenityhousehospice.ca  

Bereaved Families of Ontario, Durham Region
Date: February 2017
Contact: Jane: 1-905-579-4293

Grief Yoga
Date: Thursday, February 2, 2017 until Thursday March 23, 2017
Time:  5:30 pm – 7:15 pm.
Cost: $80.00
Registration: Required
Hosts: Monique Garreau, Registered Yoga Instructor & Nicole Bruder, Certified Grief Supporter
Contact: Nicole Bruder

Dancing in the Darkness: Creative Approaches to Working with Grieving Children and Youth
Date: Tuesday February 7, 2017
Cost: Fee $275 after January 7. Student rate available. Click here for more information on fees.
Registration: For detailed information about this workshop or to register please visit Hincks website
Details: This day-long workshop (9-4pm) with Andrea Warnick and Lysa Toye can be taken on its own or as a part of the 5 module Certificate Program in Children’s Grief and Bereavement at Toronto’s Hincks-Dellcrest Centre.

Kids Healing Hearts
Date: Feb. 2017
Time: 6:30-7:15 pm
Location: 86 Colborne Street W., Oshawa, ON L1G 1L7, #905-579-4883
Host/Contact: Hearth Place, contact Janette, email: janette@hearthplace.org
Details:  Runs for 6 weeks

Finding Joy After Loss
Date: Sunday February 5 - Sunday March 26, 2017
Time: 2:30 – 4:00 pm
Location: Mind Body Integrated Medicine, 2921 Lakeshore Blvd. W. (at Islington Ave.)
Cost: $480 (Early bird special, $400 if enrolled before January 23, 2017; the fee can be covered by benefits packages that cover registered social worker or registered psychotherapist services)
Contact:  Kelly (416-606-2103) or Eden (647-528-7390)
Details: 8 week healing group for those who have experienced different types of loss and transition.

KidsGrieve2
Date: February 9, 2017 
Time: 1:00 - 2:00 PM ET
Cost: Free
Host: Canadian Virtual Hospice
Registration: Register to participate in the live forum by emailing us at kidsgrieve2@virtualhospice.ca.  You will receive an email a few days prior to the event with a link to access the forum.
Details: In this event you are welcome to ask your own questions or learn from the questions of others.

Black-Tie Celebrity Roast           
Date: Feb 11/17
Location:  Masonic Centre of Elgin, 42703 Fruit Ridge Ln., St. Thomas, ON
Details: Black-Tie Celebrity Roast, With Honouree ~ Steve Peters; Master of Ceremonies ~ Mike Vecchio
Contact: For more information, contact HOPE’s Event Committee at 226-721-5901 or hopeinelgin@gmail.com.
Host: Hospice Outreach Programs in Elgin

Grief Network Niagara
Date: February 14, 2017
Time: 12:00 pm to 1:30 pm
Location: Hospice Niagara
Host/Contact: Grief Network Niagara at griefnetworkniagara@outlook.com
Details: This is a group of professionals and volunteers who provide bereavement support within the Niagara region.  They meet four times a year over lunch (brown bag lunch). The focus is to share what is going on within their businesses/organizations and information and/or resources as well.

Bereaved Families of Ontario, Durham Region
Date: March 2017
Contact: Jane: 1-905-579-4293

New Suicide Loss Support group
Date: March 2017
Time: 6:30 pm – 8:30 pm
Location: down town on Talbot St., St. Thomas, ON
Details: preregistration required, ages 18 and over.
Contact: Barbara Saunders at 519-637-8458 or bsaunders@healingaheartsloss.com
Organization: Healing a Heart’s Loss   www.healingaheartsloss.com

Grief Circle
Dates: Thursday, March 2 to April 20, 2017
Time: 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm
Location: Hospice Niagara, 403 Ontario Street, St. Catharines
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor 905-984-8766 ext. 233
Details: Limited space. Registration is required

Walk to Remember
Date: March 5th, 2017
Time: Call for details
Location:  5-Points Mall, Oshawa, Ontario
Host/Contact: Bereaved Families of Ontario, Durham Region/ Jane: 1-905-579-4293

West Lorne Spring Grief Group
Date: Friday’s for 10 weeks from March 24/17-June 2/17
Time: 1:00-3:00 pm
Location:  West Elgin Community Health Centre in West Lorne, ON
Contact: Becky Ahrens 519-637-6408 or 1-800-201-0909 
Details: Registration deadline is March 17/17

Children, Preteen and Parent/Guardian Bereavement Support Group
Date: Saturday, March 25 to May 6, 2017 - No group on April 25, 2017
Time: 10:00 to 11:30 am
Location: Hospice Niagara, 403 Ontario Street, St. Catharines
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor 905-984-8766 ext. 233
Details: Limited space. Registration is required

Live Webinar - Talking to Children and Youth about Medical Assistance in Dying
Date: March 28th, 2017
Time: 1:00-2:30PM ET
Presenter: Andrea Warnick
Registerhttp://andreawarnick.com/free-webinar-registration-form/

Closed Adult Grief Support Group 
Date: New Group starting in April 2017
Location: 86 Colborne Street W., Oshawa, ON L1G 1L7, #905-579-4883
Host/Contact: Hearth Place, contact Janette, email: janette@hearthplace.org
Details:  Need to register before next group starts as both groups are closed and not drop-in

Grief Circle
Dates: Wednesday, April 5 to May 24, 2017
Time: 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm
Location: Pleasantview Funeral Home & Cemetery, 2250 RR 20, Fonthill, ON
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor 905-984-8766 ext. 233
Details: Limited space. Registration is required

Spring Grief Group
Date: Thursday, April 13/17 to June 15/17 for 10 weeks
Time: 1:30 pm – 3:30 pm
Location: Heritage Place in Aylmer, ON
Contact: Becky Ahrens 519-637-6408 or 1-800-201-0909 
Details: Registration deadline is April 6/17
 
St Thomas Spring Grief Group
Date: Tuesday’s for 10 weeks from May 2/17 to June 27/17
Time: 10:00 am-12:00 pm
Location: St. Thomas VON office on South Edgware Dr., St. Thomas, ON
Contact: Becky Ahrens 519-637-6408 or 1-800-201-0909 
Details: Registration deadline is April 11/17

Hospice Niagara Teen 2 Teen: My Grief Story
Date: May 4, 2017
Time: 9:00 am to 2:30 pm
Location: Heartland Forest, Niagara Falls, ON
Cost: Free but must provide own transportation to the event.
Register:  Registration is required. Please visit here for additional information.
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor, Hospice Niagara
Details: This is a one day retreat for teens living in the Niagara region, ages 14 to 19 years, who have had a significant person die in their lives.  This event will bring teens together to share their stories and learn coping skills. 

5 Day Certificate Program in Children's Grief and Bereavement - Condensed
Date: May 2017 (dates below)
Host: The Hincks-Dellcrest Centre 
Register: For more information or to register please visit here
Details: Please note that all 5 modules can be taken to obtain the certificate, or single modules can be attended as free-standing workshops.
  • MODULE 1: Supporting Children and Youth Facing the Dying of Someone Close to Them (Andrea Warnick - May 8, 2017)
  • MODULE 2: When Death Darkens the Door: Supporting Bereaved Children and Youth (Andrea Warnick - May 9, 2017)
  • MODULE 3: Supporting Grieving Children and Families Using Mindfulness and Compassion (Andrea Warnick & Andrew Blake - May 10, 2017)
  • MODULE 4: When Grief Gets More Complicated (Andrea Warnick and Liana Lowenstein - May 11, 2017)
  • MODULE 5: Dancing in the Darkness: Creative Approaches to Working with Grieving Children and Youth (Andrea Warnick and Lisa Toye - May 12, 2017)
Adolescent Bereavement Support Group
Date: Thursday, May 11 to June 15, 2017
Time: 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm
Location: Hospice Niagara, 403 Ontario Street, St. Catharines
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor 905-984-8766 ext. 233
Details: Limited space. Registration is required

Grief Circle
Dates: Thursday, May 11 to June 28, 2017
Time: 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm
Location: Hospice Niagara, 403 Ontario Street, St. Catharines
Contact: Melissa Penner, Bereavement Advisor 905-984-8766 ext. 233
Details: Limited space. Registration is required
 
Coping Centre Educational Seminars for Bereavement Workers
Date: May 17, 2017
Date: May 16, 2018
Presenter: Alan Wolfelt
Registration Details:  Please see link to registration form listed above and here.
Host: The Coping Centre

Children's Grief Awareness Event
Date: November 18, 2017
Location: Brock University
Host: Grief Network Niagara
Details: This event is still in the planning stages.



 

Editor Thoughts

I went to see the movie, Collateral Beauty, this month.  The theatre was fairly empty, but it was a Thursday night and the last day it was showing. The movie did not have great reviews despite the great roster of actors and actresses. That didn't surprise me. No one likes to talk about death and dying let alone go to watch a movie that focuses on grief and loss. It was not an action packed adventure, it was full of heartache, and isolation. It was not a death that happened during the movie that draws in the viewers. It was a death that happened two years prior, which I think helped make this movie more real. Often the "firsts" are talked about in grief (first Christmas, first birthday), but the years after can feel overwhelming and immobilizing as well. This movie contradicts the platitude of"time heals".  

I'll be honest to say that the title "Collateral Beauty" is what drew me to this movie. It is suchteen art a true statement as I look at both my own story and the story of others that have grown through grief.  As an expression of how they were feeling, our teen support group expressed their emotions through a group painting.  One teen explained the painting to me and said, "In the beginning, the painting was really dark, but as we talked, we were able to put colour into it." The painting hangs in the hallway down from my office.  Two weeks ago, a co-worker came up to me and said how much she liked the painting and it was one of her favourites that she has seen that the groups have created. Grief is not a journey that anyone wants to walk, but with resiliency and healing there is collateral beauty.

Thank you, 
Melissa Penner 

About BON

Our Mission

Bereavement Ontario Network is a network of individuals, groups, and organizations which, through the exchange of ideas, resources, and energy, is dedicated to helping the bereaved and the dying.

 

Bereavement Ontario Network (BON) is a diverse group of organizations and individuals across Ontario that work in the field of grief and bereavement as professionals and volunteers.

 

BON provides opportunities to access, in a reciprocal manner, the knowledge, experience, wisdom, and sensitivity of other members in Ontario. You can use BON to access this support for your clients and yourself.

 

Membership in the Bereavement Ontario Network is open to individuals, volunteer organizations, small business, and corporations. If your work brings you in contact with bereaved individuals, BON can help you to help them.

 

BON offers an annual conference, a directory of members, this newsletter, website, and the services of volunteer regional representatives. These representatives are available to answer questions and to refer you to available resources within your region.

Stay Connected with BON

Bereavement Ontario Network

174 Oxford Street

Woodstock, ON N4S 6B1
 

Telephone: 519-290-0219

Email: info@BereavementOntarioNetwork.ca

Website: www.BereavementOntarioNetwork.ca
 

Copyright © 2017 Bereavement Ontario Network, All rights reserved.


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