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As I write this little note to you, I am drinking my coffee among boxes and bubble wrap and getting ready to move to Portland, Oregon with Trev, a poodle, and a dachshund. It is a brand new beginning in a quirky a wonderful city that makes us both feel excited to be alive. We are wide-eyed and happy, exhausted and hopeful, waving so long to the sun, eager to create beautiful experiences in a brand new home. This move has been about a year and a half in the making and before this beginning many good things had to end and well…we had to let them.
Allowing things to end and then gathering the courage to begin again can be rattling even when it is purposeful. We may try to control the pace of things, the shape of love, the impact of change. We can try to rush through the discomfort and the strange impasse of no longer and not yet where the work we do cannot be measured in the ways we like to measure work. In can feel exhilarating and disorienting all at once. Trapezing & Trusting. Trapezing & Trusting.

I’ve come to understand that when one chapter of life ends it's OK to stay in that weird in-between space while you gather your bearings and say good-bye. You don’t have to rush to the next thing. You can stand in the debris of your old life for a bit and thank all that once stood up straight and strong but is now just rubble at your feet. It can take a few days, weeks, months, whatever feels natural. It can be a ritual. A Thanksgiving. An experience in and of itself. It matters. 
Look, there is the friendship that helped me set healthier boundaries once it was over. Look, there is the home where I fell deeply in love. And here is the job I thought I wanted but that actually had nothing to do with who I really am. There is the ocean that held me and the neighbors who fed me laughter. All dust now at my ankles. Thank you. I love you. You've shaped me. Goodbye. 
Then, once it is time to move forward and you know it, you've gotta let go. Like REALLY let go, heart in the present and eyes toward the future, so all the good and new stuff can SWOOSH in. I used to be terrible at this, my sweet mother can attest. I would hold onto people, cities, memories, scents, songs (I still hold onto songs, particularly Leonard Cohen:) and fill my mind and heart with them so much so that the new life that was trying desperately to emerge couldn’t get through. It was only until I took a giant leap and let go like it was my JOB that I understood how awesome and natural it is to let go. Holding on is when things mutate, gather dust, grow strange. Letting go feels like freedom. It feels like deep air in your lungs after days of shallow breathing. 

As we pack our bags and hug our family and friends, I am reminded of how many endings there are in just one lifetime. I am reminded that trust makes transitions easier. I trust that beauty and love are always on their way. I trust that if I let go of this wonderful thing, an even more wonderful thing will take its place. I've seen it happen a few times in my life and it is truly magical.

One of the things I appreciate most about life is this: that we can recreate ourselves over and over again throughout our lives and that we must in order to grow into who we are becoming.

No matter where you are in your life, no matter what is beginning and ending for you personally, I salute you for being alive and for trying. I want to remind you that what you do and who you are is enough and that every day you have a chance to begin again. KOT (keep on truckin'), as my mom would say! KOT!

P.s. Although I will be based primarily in Oregon, I will be in California quite a bit to help families and individuals preserve their personal history. Do you know someone who MUST get their life stories documented? I’m your girl. Shoot me a message to set up an exploratory call. I'm booking clients for Summertime! 

All love,

"Being human, we all have fogs roll in around our heart, and often, our lives depend on the quiet courage to wait for them to clear."

                                   -Mark Nepo (One of the best poets ever!)
Copyright ©  2016 Jeannette Encinias. All rights reserved.

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