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THE FOUNTAIN HOPPER

thirty-fifth edition | weather: rain 'n' clouds  | read time: 12 mins
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IN THIS EDITION:


BAND THREATENED WITH BAN FROM BIG GAME

EIGHT YEARS OF TRANSPORT DATA LEAKED TO FOHO


‘FOCUS GROUPS’ UNRAVELED

  

WHAT WE’RE READING


AKA, WE CONSUME THE #CONTENT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Stanford #sports are fucked up: An unusually disturbing and revealing op-ed from a 2009 graduate and former varsity swimmer suggests Stanford Swimming has had culture problems for quite some time: 

I sobbed as I recalled how, when I was captain, a teammate confided in me that she had been drugged and didn’t know what had happened. I remembered the time the men’s coach asked me to switch to the men’s practice because I was swimming so well and then yelled at the male swimmers for swimming “so slow that a girl could beat them.” I recalled troubling comments I heard at an alumni meet, such as “Ew, look at that! I can’t even look at that,” in reference to an older Stanford swimming alumna wearing a swimsuit. I remembered countless social situations in which I heard men’s team members attack my teammates as fat, ugly or slutty.

(See also: this 2011 Daily story on the difficulties of being an LGBT athlete at Stanford). Perhaps in an effort to counteract the drumbeat of negativity, athletics put out an unbelievably fluffy PR piece about all the social good athletes get up to in their spare time. 

ASSU Dipshit news: Senate proposes a Joint Committee on Sexual Assault (because we all know that committees are the solution to every problem at Stanford), SSE extends the student fee waiver deadline by two weeks (waive here). (Btw: our coterm who couldn't waive last week got a swift reply after FoHo #34 and now has their waiver cash back. Funny how that works. 😉)

Some interesting stats from this year’s first Faculty Senate meeting: 37% of students are now engineering majors (48% of all men, just 25% of women), the percentage of students studying social science has “significantly decreased” (mostly due to a lack of Econ majors), and “ethnicity seems to have no significant impact on declaring an engineering degree.” Meanwhile, the Board of Trustees met and announced they’d spent $2.7m more on ending sexual violence this year – $385 per undergrad, $150 per grad, which seems pretty impressive.

If you need mental health help and think Stanford's own CAPS sucks (Daily), here’s a list of places that take Cardinal Care around Stanford.

Oh, and this student would like to remind you that people did lots of LSD at Stanford 60 years ago.


FLIPSIDE: 
SHPRC Plundered By Sex Pirates // Op-Ed: “It’s Not a Walk of Shame Until You Stroll Down The Row Shouting ‘I Am An Unrepentant Child of Hedonistic Sin” // Physicists Finally Discover Ultralight Beam, Conclude It Cool Song // “The horror, the horror!” – Students Recount Catastrophic Drizzle // Dear RCC: My Computer Lid is Broken. Also, What Is A Computer

We here at FoHo love the Flipside, so we were pleasantly surprised to see that they finally decided to opt into the 21st century and start an email edition (this is what it looks like).

As a favor to our second-favorite campus publication, we’re making it easy to sign up: just click the button below and we’ll pass on your email to our Flipside friends :)
 
CLICK THE BUTTON

CORRECTIONS & AMPLIFICATIONS


FoHo last week asserted that the ‘Grille’ that replaced Fraiche has seen no customers. After many hours of waiting, a tipster found one. Props x1000 to R&DE for their impressive achievement!! 💩💩💩

TRANSPORT NUMBERS LEAKED 


OR: FIND OUT JUST HOW DUMB YOUR FROSH CLASS WAS

A FOHO EXCLUSIVE

TL;DR: We have no idea on what grounds Stanford banned hard alcohol, but it isn’t these numbers.

Some of you may remember our little exposé of Ralph Castro in FoHo #32. Castro, ICYMI, runs OAPE, the Stanford administrators who design and implement alcohol policy. When Castro spoke to a room of (angry, frustrated) RAs before fall quarter started, he admitted that RAs didn’t have much say in the policy, don’t have to enforce it, and won’t be able to tell whether it has any effect. Except that then he backtracked to promise that Stanford would release some data.

A few FoHo tipsters didn’t trust him. So they gave the info to us. Here are some fun facts from it.

 

TRANSPORT NUMBERS ARE TRENDING DOWN 😲


Transports for 2015-16 were down over 10% from the year before, and nearly 20% down from 2013-14. In fact, the last three years are all below OAPE’s running average.

We’ve been asked by our sources to not divulge the exact numbers. While we’d love to do so, we ❤️ our sources, so here’s the ranges the exact numbers lie in:
  • 2015-16: 46-52
  • 2014-15: 52-56
  • 2013-14: 56-64
  • 2012-13: 52-55
  • 2011-12: 65-80 😲
  • 2010-11: 60-70
  • 2009-10: 55-65
  • 2008-09: 55-65
 

FROSH IN FALL ARE TO BLAME (shocker!)


Despite making up a quarter of Stanford, freshmen are consistently responsible for almost half of Stanford’s transports. More than that, over 60% of last year’s transports happened in fall. This suggests (surprise!) that a bunch of 18-year-olds who’ve never seen a shot glass in their lives aren’t always the most responsible. But with experience and training they seem to learn – transports plummet in winter and spring, and self-reported drinks per week fall by a third once they become sophs.
 

OAPE IS TERRIFIED OF SHOTS 


95% of all transports come from shots. Plus, OAPE’s scared by the fact that the proportion of frosh who say they mostly drink hard alcohol more than doubles post-matriculation. Which raises the question: if OAPE can reduce the worst effects of spirits over time, but people still want to drink them, should they try to ban the hard alcohol – or instead make it easier for RAs to check in on their residents? 🤔 🤔 🤔
 

BOTTOM LINE: STATS DIDN’T DRIVE THE BAN


When Etch and Hennessy emailed Stanford back in March to tell us they were thinking about a ban, they said it was after OAPE’s education and safety measures had failed to address this “serious issue.” But to be clear: the claim that transports have increased was used as justification for implementing the new alcohol policy, whereas they’ve actually fallen through the floor. SAD!

Whether it's alcohol education or just learning that drinking a lot sucks, freshmen calm down pretty quickly. If Stanford thinks the hard alcohol ban will bring their transport numbers down further, they’d need to show it worked well on overexcited freshmen and didn’t push everyone else behind closed doors. We’re pretty sure they haven’t checked on that.

ICYMI, THERE’S AN ELECTION GOING ON


We’re pretty sure you know the presidential election is coming up soon, but you might have missed SIG’s mock-presidential debate, taking place on Thursday 11/3.

One small issue: they can’t find a single Stanford student willing to play Trump. Maybe there’s a use for Milo Yiannopoulos on campus after all?
TIPS? LET US KNOW.
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TITLE IX THREATENS TO BAN BAND FROM GOING TO THE BIG GAME

 
A FOHO EXCLUSIVE
 
You may remember, way back in 2015, that Stanford suspended Band from traveling on the basis of, well, not much, except stuff that was half a decade old and had nothing to do with anyone in the group when they were punished (Daily). Since then, Title IX has gone quiet and Band keeps showing up places even though it’s on indefinite probation (Mercury). 

Turns out what’s happening is Band is technically still not allowed to travel, so is instead getting one-off permission from Stanford for every individual event. But – surprise – administrators seem to continue to delight in messing around with bandies at every possible opportunity.

The Title IX office last year told them a week before one playoff that they could go – leaving Band with seven days to find people, book flights, etc. etc. Worse, tipsters tell us that Title IX has also started revoking their rights to travel – after telling them they'd be fine to go – as close as 24 hours before events begin, even after they’ve sorted traveling arrangements.

Over a year later, Band remains on probation, and nobody can tell us what might get them off it (the ‘goals’ they’re supposed to meet never end). What Band does know is they might not be able to go to the Big Game – probably the most important tradition they’re a part of. Title IX won’t tell them until the start of November either way. And if they do go, they’re not allowed to make fart jokes anymore, because apparently these violate Title IX. We’re not sure how either.

ARE YOU IN BAND?

HAVE THINGS TO SAY ABOUT TITLE IX'S TREATMENT?
IF SO, HIT US UP xoxo

tips@fountainhopper.com

ALCOHOL PANEL HAS NO STUDENTS, BUT HEY, JOIN A ‘FOCUS GROUP!’

 
An extra bonus on alcohol from FoHo! We’ve learned that Greg Boardman is chairing a panel of six administrators to advise and guide Stanford’s alcohol policies.

Guess how many students – the only people affected by the policy – are on the panel?

That’s right, zero!

Boardman has apparently promised to set up a ‘sub-board’ with some students, but (surprise!) no details have arrived yet. Meanwhile, Castro, the director of OAPE, is reportedly at his wits’ end. Sources tell us he knows the policy sucks, which is why he told a bunch of RAs not to bother enforcing it.

We’ve also heard rumors, as yet unverified, that Marc T-L (the new President) and Etch have some major disagreements on the policy. Get ready for Administrator Fight Night in three, two, one

Also, thanks to all those alcohol panelists who wrote in! Somewhat amusingly, less than 24h after FoHo 34 went out complaining of a lack of student reps on alcohol panels, Castro et al. blasted a large student mailing list with a blanket invite to join the alcohol panels

Want to take a guess at which list was chosen

If you guessed “cardinalnights” – definitionally the least pro-alcohol people at Stanford – you’d be correct. (Ever heard of selection bias? It’s not like we have the #1 world ranked statistics program that admins could go to and ask for help or something lol.)

OAPE has begun their much-vaunted focus groups, though pretty much all of them seem to be full. The first ones last weekend just asked students what they drank and when. At the end, students complained about the alcohol policy, but by then OAPE had turned off their recorders and nobody was taking notes. Can’t wait to see the results of this democratic process!

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Unlike every other Stanford publication, we don’t take money from the ASSU or the administration. That means that when the administrators come calling (and they do), we don’t owe them shit.

However, like any other student group, we have expenses, and we rely 100% on donations to keep the lights on and the news flowing. Donate today ❤


venmo.com/fountainhopper
Two quick updates to the FMOTQ story from FoHo #32:
  • We said consent training for frosh was over – turns out there’s another sex positivity presentation coming for students, though the majority of the training has happened and frosh have had more than any class before them by this point.
  • The junior class presidents only had to pay for a couple ‘sound collectors’ in Palo Alto, because they were allowed to make them drive around rather than have one person sitting in each ‘noise spot’, and because grads probably wouldn’t want to do it for free. It remains unclear why the university forced FMOTQ to pay for some TAs to send a screenshot of a sound meter app to SAL.

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