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THE FOUNTAIN HOPPER

thirty-fourth edition | weather: acceptable  | read time: 10 mins

IN THIS EDITION:


TITLE IX FACING REPERCUSSIONS FROM GOVERNMENT, COURTS, FED-UP STUDENTS 

GRAD STUDENTS EVICTED FROM HOUSING, GET ‘FOCUS GROUPS’ AS SOLUTION
(surprise!)

LATE NIGHT (EVEN MORE) TERRIBLE, SLOW, OVERPRICED, UNDERSTAFFED
  

WHAT WE’RE READING


AKA, WE CONSUME THE #CONTENT SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO

Monday was Indigenous People’s / Columbus Day, probably America’s most fucked-up public holiday. Stanford students protested by writing over the names of the dorms Junipero and Serra with “Ohlone” and “Toypurina” (an indigenous tribe and a Native woman respectively), erasing the Post Office’s message indicating closure for the day, and chalking “Cuck Folumbus everywhere (photo).

This incident follows a spirited debate last year on whether we should name half our campus buildings and roads after a priest who supported the Spanish colonization of California (news, support, opposition). On the pro side: Serra supported the genocide of Native American people; on the other hand, he’s a saint who (some claim) held back genocidal warlords. FoHo’s still waiting for the administration’s promised ‘committee’ (there’s a new one) that will be deciding on the ‘principles’ that would allow for a renaming, but at least we have a couple alternative names for now. 

The Review confirms that neither they nor any one of the usual cabal of conservative groups will be hosting arch-dickhead Milo
Yiannopoulos, after we blew the lid on their crisis over whether to accept him last week (1, 2). (For reference, when the Review says “their sources”, they mean themselves.)

The Daily has run some excellent opinion pieces recently criticizing FMOTQ’s postponement, as well as those who refuse to look at data when crafting sexual assault and alcohol policies.

The Flipside remains hilarious (1, 2, 3, 4, 5).

SEXUAL ASSAULT CONTINUES, TITLE IX STILL TERRIBLE 


TL;DR: One sexual assault case closed, one still in progress, Title IX still in shambles.

Last week, the Police Department followed up on two different sexual assaults. The first was a 22-year-old grad living in Lyman, accused of raping a 28-year-old woman and non-Stanford student. The two were, according to Stanford’s police PR person Bill Larson, dating at the time, so due to lack of evidence the man was released – after he earlier posted $100,000 bail to walk free anyway (Mountain View Voice).

The second incident, just a few days later, involved a female Stanford student reporting that she was assaulted by a male student in his east campus dorm room. That investigation is ongoing, and the department isn’t saying anything more until the facts are straight.

Meanwhile, Stanford’s Title IX office – which adjudicates on-campus sexual assault, often quite badly, independent of police activity – is being sued for denying a man due process rights when he was accused of assaulting a woman. That means the Stanford office is now facing four separate Department of Education investigations and a lawsuitthe most of any university in the US (NPR).

Why might the university be so shit at investigating sexual assault? Basically, they can’t seem to get anything right. One case is from a woman who felt the man who raped her wasn’t punished severely enough – another 
is from that same man, who said the result was unfair. Still others are from people who thought the process was terrible, or the outcomes.

Stanford seems amazingly good at pissing off both sides every time they make an adjudication, which is a bit of a problem since – unlike the courts – the appeal process isn’t nearly as simple or clear-cut. It’s probably because they have a record of losing evidence, denying people’s stories, and also shutting off basic due process rights like a lawyer and the right to 
see evidence against you (1, 2). 

And – bonus! – they also went through a phase of chasing random groups like Band because they felt like it (Daily), then ignored students who overwhelmingly wanted a proper report on campus climate, not one that claims less than 2% of students have been assaulted (HuffPo).

TELL US IF YOU’RE IN A FOCUS GROUP


We’ve heard that OAPE has begun contacting students to be part of focus groups on Stanford’s new alcohol policy. We know a few of you already, but hit us up if you got an email from them.

Natalie Thomas, the new alcohol policy coordinator, didn’t respond to a request for comment – but she did get our letter from FoHo #33. 😉

The student senate has decided not to do anything about the issue, partly because they have no power, but also apparently because they “had a very productive discussion with Greg Boardman.” (Daily) A discussion that yielded precisely no changes. 🤔
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LATE NIGHT RUINED

 
A FOHO EXCLUSIVE
 
Every college has dumb students who can’t wake up before 12 and leave assignments to the last late day. For as long as businesses have existed, people have sold these kids glucose and sugar disguised as food at 2am. Stanford’s late night is especially terrible – $5 milkshakes, $10 ‘burritos’, chicken wings that appear to have originated from a piece of poultry unknown to nature, etc. etc.

Only now late night has gotten even more terrible than usual. Frosh tell us lines regularly exceed 20 mins, orders take half an hour to arrive, and fries have become even less pleasant than normal. A shit-ton of options have disappeared: FoHo couldn’t find brownies, pizzas, or noodles, so was stuck with chicken tenders (#firstworldprobs). Except those chicken tenders still cost us $8.99, yet mysteriously don’t come with fries anymore. 😞

What happened to ruin late night? Well, Arrillaga appears to have lost half its late night staff – one FoHo tipster asked the manager why the Chinese food had gone, to which the response was “because I fired them” and a laugh. And service has slowed because Stanford fired the people who took orders and replaced them with a pair of iPads, one of which keeps breaking.

Obviously, this is not the most important issue in the history of Stanford (😱). But it sucks that – literally the same week that Stanford Dining annexed Subway to form a new ‘barbecue’ with no grill and kicked out Fraiche for a hotdog stand that, in one scientific study, saw precisely zero customers for the hour we were outside it – the university has this weird desire to have monopoly control over what we eat.

So please, Stanford. Yale gets Insomnia Cookies and Shake Shack. Harvard gets every big chain you’ve ever seen. We get shitty burgers, shittier shakes, and $10 bits of artificial chicken. Don’t make it worse than it is already.

COTERMS UNABLE TO OPT OUT OF ASSU FEES


Last week, we sent out the link to waive your fees for groups you didn’t like that take your money. But since then, coterms have sent us evidence that they can only waive their ‘grad student’ activities, which total less than $30 – despite also paying over $160 toward undergraduate activities.

FoHo thinks this is pretty unfair. Sadly, we can’t find anyone from SSE who’ll reply to us.


We do know that when one coterm emailed SSE, seven different people opened the email – and none of them replied. It’s been six days since the email was sent. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Protip: If you’re from SSE and want to tell us why coterms can’t waive their fees to groups they don’t use or like, hit reply!

EV TO BE DEMOLISHED, GRADS KICKED OUT, STANFORD DOESN’T CARE

 

A FOHO EXCLUSIVE
 

TL;DR: It sucks to be a grad student.

If you’ve ever looked at Stanford’s map you’ll see Escondido Village, a weird little spot on east campus. It’s a complex of grad student houses that, according to a few grads we spoke to, form a little community. Unlike pretty much every other university, Stanford houses
grads within the university bounds, which is pretty neat, even if they still look weird when they show up to all-campuses. For PhDs and other students with families and kids, there are courtyards, communal events, and more stuff that makes coming back to university aged 30 seem a bit less strange.

Of course, the university needs to expand. But when Stanford expanded
Lag, or built out the frosh dorms, it did so quickly and gave students other dorms in the interim. With EV, Stanford’s just kind of evicting grads en masse – and nobody really cares, because, well, they’re grads. The university is creating ‘alternative housing’ off-campus, but a bunch of grads who contacted FoHo told us Stanford is basically shrugging their shoulders if families want to stay together, or giving out too little money to live anywhere close by.

What’s more, once new-EV is built, 20 families will permanently lose their housing, and four of the eight open courtyards are going to disappear forever. And the Escondido roundabout area – already one of the worst bits of the campus for congestion and noise – is now going to have an estimated 300-400 foot line of cars
in peak times. (Stanford hired some traffic consultants who managed to persuade the authorities things would be okay so long as the “roundabout was monitored” – let’s see how that goes 😉)

So, a bunch of people 
are being kicked out to Menlo Park and Palo Alto for a year, a bunch more will never come back, and the impact of doubling the traffic flow out of Escondido will fucking suck for everyone. As you’d expect, when Stanford held a townhall on the topic, it was a shitshow, with over 200 in attendance (for contrast, when Stanford’s new President came to meet the community, fewer than 10 people showed up).

So what did Stanford do when it became apparent its grads are really angry? The tried-and-tested Greg Boardman Method Of Mass Ignorance™ – they started holding ‘focus groups’ of a few people. But – surprise! – we couldn’t find any grads who had been invited.

This is sad. Grad students are people too, and it seems pretty unfair to make your Math 51 TA drive or bike in from miles away – or to tell grads with families that they have to find an apartment for themselves in the most expensive town in the nation. Once again, we can’t help but think that Stanford could have been a bit less dickish in how they’re dealing with a (legitimate) issue on campus.

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