August 8. 2022

The Newsette

THING TO DO TODAY


Don’t cry over the WiFi. Here’s what to do if your internet doesn’t understand you kinda need it to do your 9-5. (Editor Reina, read up.)

THINGS TO KNOW


We’re going to the chapel (or not)

RELATIONSHIPS: So this is love, mmm… now where’s the ring? That may feel like the question on everyone’s mind, but rushing the timeline may not be what’s best overall. According to licensed social worker supervisor Neathery Falchuk, what you should be focusing on is how to make your relationship as healthy as possible, rather than judging “age and length of time [as] determinants of relationship milestones.” Placing the emphasis on you and your partner’s happiness can eliminate the feelings of stress and self-criticism associated with trying to sprint to the altar. Though it’s great if your goals are ultimately marriage and kids, it’s important to remember that those aren’t the only ways to measure success. Licensed clinical social worker Sarah Brock Chávez invites us to challenge the cis-hetero-patriarchy (stick it to the man!) and expand our idea of what aspirational relationships can look like: queer, non-monogomous, childfree, or unmarried. In fact, more millennials and zoomers are choosing not to have children and 43% of millennials say their ideal ship is non-monog. So, the next time your aunt asks when you’re having a baby, tell her The Newsette says not to pressure you.

STEP OFF THE RELATIONSHIP ESCALATOR
 



See also...

CLIMATE: Flamin’ hot is for Cheetos, not forests. Wildfires are tearing through the west at a scary pace, so here’s what you can do to stay safe: 1) Have a go-bag and escape route ready so you can respond quickly. 2) Follow your city’s emergency response system (some even post Twitter updates) in case they declare an evacuation. 3) Stay away until authorities say it’s safe to go back. And if your home was damaged, call on an expert to check out things like water pollution, structural integrity, and debris management. Hopefully you don’t ever have to use this advice, but ya know, JIC.
 
FASHION: Pop off plazacore. The next preppy trend has arrived just in time for fall, and it’s all thanks to little miss Eloise—famously at the Plaza w/ Julie Andrews. Her revived aesthetic and attitude has filled our feeds with puff-sleeved blouses, Mary Janes, and everything pink. She also lived in a 5-star hotel, so luxurious loungewear is not out of the question either. You might not be able to get a pet turtle to carry around, but one of these handbags will certainly do.
 
TECH: Trust no one, not even autonomous cars. According to a recent report, only 17% of women think self-driving vehicles are a good idea. (Consider us part of the 83%.) The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (😮‍💨) agrees with the minority, though, and argues that the tech “greatly support drivers and reduce human errors and the resulting crashes, injuries, and economic tolls.” Still, only 30% of women think that’s true. Either way, if you ever end up in one, let’s hope it’s an Autobot and not a Decepticon.

EXTRA FOAM


1. Stuck doomscrolling? Not if Penguin Random House’s latest campaign can help it.
 
2. As if we didn’t see this coming…
 
3. Lady Gaga is gonna be in the Joker sequel, and maybe, just maybe it’s because she manifested Harley Quinn through these 25 looks.
 
4. Oh, how the tides have turned.
 
5. Even our makeup needs a break from adulting sometimes.

BEST OF INSTAGRAM

 
Live out your most luxurious dreams with some plazacore inspo below. 🎀
@flashbackpdx
@yourdreamcloset.id
@sothopl
@midnightbakeryintimates

Sister, Sister

Lindsay and Emily Stetzer
In honor of National Sister Day yesterday, we’re launching Sister, Sister, a new segment that spotlights not 1, but 2 bada*s women who just so happen to be related.
 
First up, big sis Lindsay Stetzer (she/her) and little sis Emily Stetzer (she/her), the co-founders of Presently, a small jewelry business born from mental health and a shared apartment. Their pieces say phrases like “Brave the uncomfortable,” “Embrace uncertainty,”  and “I let go of what I can’t control” to encourage others to face their anxious thoughts and feelings.
 
Here, the Long Islanders discuss their work dynamic, finish each other’s sentences, and choose which celeb they’d want to see wear their wellness bling.
 
Where does the name Presently come from?
LINDSAY: I believe it was from a word exercise in—
EMILY: Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short. Being mindful and mindfulness practice is a big part of CBT therapy. The CBT phrases aka our mindfulness phrases all started with being present and in the moment. “My thoughts are passing clouds” was the first phrase we came up with, and if you can visualize that—
LINDSAY: You’d think of a cloud, which is where our logo comes from.
 
Did you guys ever talk with any health professionals during the creation process?
LINDSAY: I checked in with my therapist and was like, "Hey, we have this idea. These are the phrases. Let me know what you think."
EMILY: In the beginning, I would also go to my therapist and ask about a certain phrase and make sure it wasn't confusing or isolating to other people. We wanted to make sure we were being helpful and not harmful. For example, we didn’t want “I am separate from my mind” to relate to only one person and trigger another.
LINDSAY: That was so huge. We were really conscious of how all of these phrases could affect anybody, whether it was with depression, ADHD, or PTSD, we wanted to make sure these phrases could be used universally.
EMILY: In addition to not only consulting our therapists about these ideas, we've gotten a lot of great feedback and therapists have even reached out to us. They're all in alignment with what we're saying, so it's been really nice and reassuring to get approval from them.
LINDSAY: There's a cognitive behavioral scientist who has been emailing us all the things she likes that we're doing. She sends us examples and books… We would have never thought people would want to study our stuff.
 
What’s your work dynamic as sisters?
EMILY: It's really fun. There's definitely ups and downs, but the thing is, you can't yell at your coworker and then go back to work 2 minutes later [laughing]. We’re close as sisters, too, because we're kinda far apart in age, so there's never been that conflict of, “She's stealing my toys” or whatever.
LINDSAY: I also think we're very different, so we complement each other well. And being each others’ support system while both experiencing OCD has been incredible.
EMILY: Another big part of why it's important to talk about our relationship as well as our OCD is because it’s the root behind why we need bracelets like this. With OCD, you have to show tough love sometimes. If she's asking me a reassurance question, “Do you think this was dirty? Do you think I left the stove on?” Or something like that, I have to be like, “I’m not answering the OCD.” Because giving into the reassurance feeds it, which gives her more fuel to ask more questions. And same for me. And that's also very true in the sense of OCD and also working together, because we can just be completely transparent and supportive of each other.
 
So if we deal with imposter syndrome (who doesn’t every now and then?), what bracelet would you recommend?
EMILY: I would say “It's okay to feel how I feel,” “My thoughts are passing clouds,” or even “I am separate from my mind.” A lot of the time, our minds produce thoughts that are the worst case scenario or attack our inner character. So we have to realize that A) It's okay to be thinking that stuff and B) We’re separate from our minds, because we have to identify this as our inner critic and not what we are.
LINDSAY: The phrases we’ve created are all like toppings on a burger. They can exist at the same time and could also be used separately.
 
If you could have any celebrity wear your jewelry, who would it be?
EMILY: I'm thinking about all the people that share their anxiety. Lindsay, would you say an athlete? Selena Gomez? She’d probably be the ideal person because she is so—
LINDSAY: Open about her mental health and her overall wellness. And she has a mission to help others, which is the same mission as us. I think it would be amazing.
EMILY: Selena, if you see this, wear our bracelet [laughing].

ITEMS OF THE DAY

SPLURGE

SKIMS hotel slipper
$48

SHOP NOW

SAVE

Forever 21 plush slippers
$10

SHOP NOW

TODAY I WILL...

 
Get my silky slippers on.

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