YA WANNA SEE THE INSIDE, HUH, I SEE YOU LATER
Most dialogue around accountability has a negative tone: micromanager, demanding, again, confrontational. But that's totally wrong. Accountability to ourselves and others has everything to do with how in touch we are with our own needs.
And I think so much about a tiny Biggie and Diddy/Daddy?/Love? in that video because most of us learn lessons about our needs at a young age, and we never grow emotionally beyond that age. We are all essentially young humans operating in adult bodies unless we commit to a consistent practice of self-awareness and growth. Think about your own experience with your needs. Were they nurtured and honored as a child? Were they validated? Where they witnessed? Or were your needs overridden by your parents or caregivers? Were you denied your needs as a child? Were you never taught to validate or prioritize your own needs? Our needs are at the root of our ability to hold ourselves and others accountable.
Needs feel vulnerable; they are usually connected to our core being—our values, hopes, and fears. They are the things we typically keep buried deep inside until we snap, and we lash out or take over, hence the reason we conflate accountability with confrontation.