That Moment When You're Expected to Perform a Bong Hit in Front of People and You Realize How Old and Uncool you are
The Summer of 2012 I found myself in a parking garage in Boulder, Colorado, holding a huge bong in my hands and getting ready to attempt my first “rip”. Ever self-conscious, I insisted my companions not watch me. While of course also requesting they light the bowl for me and pull it out at the proper time. I was 29, a mother of two, and convinced I looked like an absolute fool trying to use this ridiculous gadget.
There is something about a bong that can be intimidating for the uninitiated. Big and fragile, relics of the cool kids, your lack of experience shines through and you feel 16 again, not wanting to show how ignorant you are. If you’re a woman it’s made doubly awkward by the phallic nature of the bong, the clearly sexual act of putting your lips on this long… tube. But really guys, we’re adults now. It’s okay to not know how to do these things. The Stoner Mom is going to walk you through it anyhow, because that’s what moms do.
This guide will show you:
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- The basics of bong types
- Proper terms for the bong pieces
- How to prepare the bong for use- water level and filling the bowl
- How to take a proper hit
- What to look for when in the market for a bong
- A short explainer of bong accessories
- And the proper care and storage of bongs