A longer read: the confidence to start
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May 2017

My dearest Stoner Buds, 

Lately, all of the media I consume has been repeating the same theme, like a message from the universe. Does that ever happen to you? Whether it's a book I'm reading, a magazine I'm flipping through, or a podcast I'm listening to, I've been hearing multiple experts giving the same advice: 

Do it. 

Just start. 

This is such an exciting time we are living in, and our ideas are a reflection of it. We are full of passions and projects, things we long to pursue and achieve, envy and admiration of those more successful than us. So why is it so hard to start? Why is it so hard for us to take that leap and to start putting out the work that we long to share?

Your Narrative

We grow up with a set of values that is given to us, and it carries us through to adulthood. This unique perspective is our personal narrative; the stories and values that make up our past and color our present. Our narrative forms our inner voice, our insecurities, and how we see ourselves in others eyes. 

Our family and community taught us societies rules. They gave us religion, they showed us the importance of work, and they modeled what family relationships should look like. 

What we don't realize for entirely too long, is that our narrative belongs to us, and we can change it whenever we want. But there is only one way to do that, and that is to finally stop caring about what people think about us. 

Negative Self Talk 

We fuck up, we get lazy, we obsess about others, we live in a culture steeped in vanity. When we fail, we see that one transgression as the end of the dream. 

    We say, "I already fucked that up, time to go back to my old ways".  

    or, "I can't do it perfectly now, so I won't do it at all."

    or, "It's too late, I already missed my opportunity."

We repeat a litany of excuses, often disguised as future "plans":

    I will do it after I lose weight. 
    I will do it when I have time.
    I will do it when it's right.
    I will do it when I look better. 
    I will do it when I feel better. 
... I will do it when I'm perfect. 
There has to come to a point in your life when your perspective finally shifts and you realize that the only thing holding you back is the fear of what people will think.  

Are we really going to let our narrative be defined by the principals of relatives that we rarely speak to? Or Instagram comments from anonymous neckbeards? Even our parents. As adults, we still parrot the principals our parents gave us, no matter if it fits us, our values, or our current life. No matter if we even believe it.

Hatorade by the 12-Pack

When I get negative feedback about any of my stoner mom stuff, it's literally laughable to me. Because you know what, rude stranger making assumptions about my work on social media? Let's see your shit. Let's see your blog, your podcast, your show, your writing. It's perfect, right? Since you feel so entitled to put me down? 

Oh, that's right. You can't show me your shit because you literally haven't started it. You haven't started, and the fact that I have fills you with insecurity. Jealousy and self-hate make you obsess about me, and forget about you. And that is probably not what you had in mind. 

One of my favorite people, Gary Vaynerchuk, released a rant for haters recently. Addressing trolls and people who dump all over others he says, 

     "Is your shit so fucked up, is it so sad that you take your time to allocate poison and negativity on other people's stuff? Get out of the way, and let people do their thing. 

     ... It doesn't matter what they think. When you're 92 and you're sitting there, you're not going to give a shit about what punkman96 had to say, or even what your aunt had to say, who's miserable, because she never got hers so she's trying to keep you down."  

There are always people who will feel threatened by your action and will try to put you down. They will make you doubt yourself and ask what makes you so special that anyone would want to hear what you have to say. Put their jealousy and fear into perspective before you let their thoughtless remarks impact your mark on the world. 

The secret, is that nobody has it all together. No. bo. dy. Not Gary V or Beyonce or Elon Musk. The Stoner Mom? Not even close. Not even a little bit.

But I don't tell people that I am, and that gives me the freedom to grow. 

Whatever your thing is. There is room for you here. A new economy is being born, and you are part of it. We want to see what you have to offer. We want to consume it, read it, watch it, love it. There are far more people who need what you offer than there are people willing to give it. So forget the haters, let go of the doubt, and give it. 

Do it. 

Just start. 
Inspiration | Work Edition

Narrative Building  ///  Art of Charm
Will it Fly?  ///  Pat Flynn 
A Rant: For All the Haters  ///  The GaryVee Audio Experience
How to Start  ///  The GaryVee Audio Experience
Side Hustle School with Chris Gillibeau 

How to Get Things Done

Goals need a solid foundation on which to rest. Because you see, a goal only gets you as far as the plan you made. And a lot of times we don't make any sort of plan, at all. 

Look, you're a stoner, and an adult, you've got shit to manage. Responsibilities. And you're high a lot. So let's figure out a workable set of systems for the average responsible stoner.

As a lifelong bitch of productivity systems, early last year I implemented the GTD system by David Allen and fell in love. This is the system that everyone is missing. This is the way to get your mind clear and your actions focused on your priorities. It consists of five basic steps:

The 5 Steps to Getting Things Done 

1. Capture Collect what has your attention

Use an inbox, file folder, notepad, and/or voice memo to capture 100% of everything that has your attention.

The process starts with a thorough mind map or brain dump, where you capture every single thing that has your attention. Everything. Every bill, every future plan, every movie you want to watch, all the shit you want to remember. When a light bulb is out, when you are almost out of weed, when it’s picture day at school or when the hot lunch for the day is your kid’s favorite. EVERYTHING.

Capturing is not processing. It’s hunt and gather time. A scavenger hunt. Everything you’re responsible for, everything that’s been nagging on your soul. Whether it’s a bill from the IRS or an idea scribbled on an index card, it gets captured and collected and put in one place.


2. Clarify | Process what it means

If it will take less than two minutes, do it now. If not, delegate it, or put it on a list.

In this step, we process what we have collected. The first time we do this it is often a massive list, so it can take time. With each item, we ask “is it actionable?” If the answer is no your next action is to either trash it, put it on a list (explained next), or file for reference. If yes, decide the very next action required. If the next action takes less than two minutes, do it. If not, it goes on a next action list.


3. Organize | Put it where it belongs

… calls to make, emails to send, errands to run.

Everyone needs some method for managing their projects, to-do’s, reminders and appointments. In the organize phase we create the lists that will become permanent places for all of those things, and it’s way easier than you’d think. All you need is a calendar and a next-actions-list.

The next actions lists are activity & location based lists that take all the guesswork out of decision-making. I will go into further detail in an upcoming post, but typical next action lists are things like “we need”, “groceries”, “calls”, “errands to run”, etc.


4. Reflect Review frequently

Look over your lists as often as necessary to determine what to do next.

When learning the GTD method, we continuously push ourselves to look over our list. This is building our muscle memory and forming a powerful new habit. A weekly review is the cornerstone of this method and sets the stage for the next week of productive actions.

5. Engage Simply do

Use your system to take appropriate action with confidence.

With all of your life’s worries recorded somewhere outside of your brain, you have the space to focus on the task at hand. The next action lists and calendar guide your decision making. You no longer second guess how you are spending your time.

The Getting Things Done method is a productivity classic that isn't going anywhere. If you think this might be the system for you, check out the rest of my GTD series!

Catch up on my GTD Series

The Podcast | Mom & Dad are Stoned
It's no secret I am a podcast junkie, but did you know I also host my own? In recent episodes of the Mom & Dad are Stoned podcast, my husband David and I have covered topics ranging from social media, stoner schedules, stoner business and our first experience with TV, stoned. 

And If you have exhausted iTunes' 'Mom & Dad are Stoned' catalog, just listen on my website. We have all of our episodes there. 
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