This is such an exciting time we are living in, and our ideas are a reflection of it. We are full of passions and projects, things we long to pursue and achieve, envy and admiration of those more successful than us. So why is it so hard to start? Why is it so hard for us to take that leap and to start putting out the work that we long to share?
We grow up with a set of values that is given to us, and it carries us through to adulthood. This unique perspective is our personal narrative; the stories and values that make up our past and color our present. Our narrative forms our inner voice, our insecurities, and how we see ourselves in others eyes.
Our family and community taught us societies rules. They gave us religion, they showed us the importance of work, and they modeled what family relationships should look like.
What we don't realize for entirely too long, is that our narrative belongs to us, and we can change it whenever we want. But there is only one way to do that, and that is to finally stop caring about what people think about us.
Negative Self Talk
We fuck up, we get lazy, we obsess about others, we live in a culture steeped in vanity. When we fail, we see that one transgression as the end of the dream.
We say, "I already fucked that up, time to go back to my old ways".
or, "I can't do it perfectly now, so I won't do it at all."
or, "It's too late, I already missed my opportunity."
We repeat a litany of excuses, often disguised as future "plans":
I will do it after I lose weight.
I will do it when I have time.
I will do it when it's right.
I will do it when I look better.
I will do it when I feel better.
... I will do it when I'm perfect.
There has to come to a point in your life when your perspective finally shifts and you realize that the only thing holding you back is the fear of what people will think.
Are we really going to let our narrative be defined by the principals of relatives that we rarely speak to? Or Instagram comments from anonymous neckbeards? Even our parents. As adults, we still parrot the principals our parents gave us, no matter if it fits us, our values, or our current life. No matter if we even believe it.
Hatorade by the 12-Pack
When I get negative feedback about any of my stoner mom stuff, it's literally laughable to me. Because you know what, rude stranger making assumptions about my work on social media? Let's see your
shit. Let's see your blog, your podcast, your show, your writing. It's perfect, right? Since you feel so entitled to put me down?
Oh, that's right. You can't
show me your shit because you literally haven't started it. You haven't started, and the fact that I have
fills you with insecurity. Jealousy and self-hate make you obsess about me
, and forget about you
. And that is probably not what you had in mind.
One of my favorite people, Gary Vaynerchuk
, released a rant for haters recently. Addressing trolls and people who dump all over others he says,
"Is your shit so fucked up, is it so sad that you take your time to allocate poison and negativity on other people's stuff? Get out of the way, and let people do their thing.
... It doesn't matter what they think. When you're 92 and you're sitting there, you're not going to give a shit about what punkman96 had to say, or even what your aunt had to say, who's miserable, because she never got hers so she's trying to keep you down."
There are always people who will feel threatened by your action and will try to put you down. They will make you doubt yourself and ask what makes you
so special that anyone would want to hear what you have to say. Put their jealousy and fear into perspective before you let their thoughtless remarks impact your mark on the world.
The secret, is that nobody has it all together. No. bo. dy. Not Gary V or Beyonce or Elon Musk. The Stoner Mom? Not even close. Not even a little bit.
But I don't tell people that I am, and that gives me the freedom to grow.
Whatever your thing is. There is room for you here. A new economy is being born, and you are part of it. We want to see what you have to offer. We want to consume it, read it, watch it, love it. There are far more people who need what you offer than there are people willing to give it. So forget the haters, let go of the doubt, and give it.